http://www.fwbusinesspress.com/display.php?id=9880

“The development will be named “The Bareview at Fairmount Place,” after Ignacious Phinneas Bareview, a little-remembered Union general who visited Fort Worth on April 8, 1864. Gen. Bareview was leading a force of Union soldiers that were due to meet with Major General Nathaniel P. Banks’s forces in De Soto Parish, Louisiana. Bareview had stumbled into a hidden Confederate cache of “achewater,” a long-forgotten Southern alcoholic beverage made from “achewood,” a now-extinct plant similar to wormwood. Achewater drinkers experience hallucinations and euphoria, which led Gen. Bareview to turn off-course and cross the border into Texas, believing that his forces were pursuing a “golden-haired maiden from whose eyes emitted forth a bounty of wheat and spices” and who Bareview believed was leading them to “the promised land where we will find the key to Union dominance in the South and many tall lasses who shall provide for us in the manner of times of old.” Unfortunately for Gen. Bareview, the achewood oil found in achewater was a powerful depressant which causes irreversible neurological damge, and his drinking binge caused him to slip into a deep and long-lasting melancholy state. By this point, Gen. Bareview and his forces found themselves in Fort Worth, and while his soldiers surrendered peacefully to Confederate forces nearby (fearing for their sanity should they remain in Bareview’s command), Bareview stumbled to what is now the corner of Fairmount and Magnolia and proclaimed “Here so forthe upon these bottoms shall be a fyne example of a fjord” before collapsing into a long-term coma. Because of Bareview’s course change, Banks’s forces were routed and the Union abandoned major invasion efforts in Texas and Louisiana.

“Because the historic structures on the block have long since been demolished,” said Vanston recently, “we wanted to find *something* to connect the development to its local context. The story of General Bareview is certainly…well, it *happened,* and it’s probably inspirational to somebody.”"

There was also a note where I was going to mention the building as being designed by Carillion Group collaborator Robert W. Kelly, and an attempted interview about the architecture was rendered thusly:

“When asked to comment about the building’s modernist design, Kelly paused, took a sip from his absinthe, and responded “No.” He then added, “Aren’t you from that (expletive deleted) blog that likes that David (expletive deleted) Schwarz? Get the (expletive deleted) out of my (expletive deleted) office!” At which point, Mr. Kelly set loose a pack of wild dogs.”

http://www.myhregroup.com/portfolio_idetail.php?project_id=107&ctgry_id=1

I picked it because the rendering was vague enough to pass for the Magnolia & Fairmount lot and because it was a style of design that I knew Fairmount would just love to have going up next to some bungalows.

Happy April Fools, everybody!